


My Perfect Rock Bottom

by 221blackandwhitestripes



Series: The Sound Of Your Heart [1]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Darkness, Denial, Dreams and Nightmares, Episode: s03e15 How the Riddler Got His Name, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Inspired by Music, M/M, Murder, S03xE15, Then It's Really Dark, This Is Only Dark If You Stare At It For Too Long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 11:14:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14591805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221blackandwhitestripes/pseuds/221blackandwhitestripes
Summary: He stood back up, looking over the beautiful world's end view once more. Turning, he saw that Oswald had finally left. So he smiled, because this was what he had wanted, and he couldn't change his mind now.“Goodbye, Oswald.” He felt the words hang palpably in the air for a moment before they were whisked away by the dock's chilly, early morning gale.Placing his hat on his head, Edward turned and left, long, quick strides carrying him away as has resisted the ever calling urge to turn back.[Prequel toI’m The Mess That You Wanted]





	My Perfect Rock Bottom

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the first part, or prequel if you will, of my new series; [The Sound Of Your Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1018875). I hope you enjoy it and it intrigues you enough to look forward to the next part of the story which will be posted soon. 
> 
> It's 3:08 am, I seem to have gotten worse.
> 
> Song of choice is [Beautiful Trauma](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBt_88nxG4c) by _P!nk_
> 
> Who's surprised?

_I've been on the run so long, they can't find me._  
_You're waking up to remember I'm pretty._  
_And when the chemicals leave my body,_  
_Yeah, they're gonna find me in a hotel lobby,_  
_‘Cause tough times,_  
_They keep coming,_  
_All night, laughing and fucking._  
_Some days like, I'm barely breathing._  
_Then after, we were high,_  
_And the love dope died._

_“Well, **that** was fun,” Not-_ Oswald snickered, shaking his head. Edward pressed his fingers into his eyes, not caring to respond. He was so _tired_ , his hands aching with the need to draw the pillbox out of his jacket-pocket once more, to feel the capsule break between his teeth just before he swallowed it down. But, no, he wasn’t supposed to need it anymore. He had finally found himself, found how to be the _him_ he was always destined to become. And he had a new name.

_The Riddler._

Oswald snorted beside him, shaking his head.

“Excuse me?” Ed prompted, irritated at the mirage’s continued existence. He hadn’t popped a pill in hours, yet Oswald had remained by Ed’s side ever since the Police academy graduation.

 _“Sorry,”_ Not-Oswald smirked. _“I just don’t see why you think you’ve been successful.”_

“What are you talking about?” Ed fumed. “Everything went exactly to plan.”

 _“Did it though?”_ Oswald asked, tilting his head, clearly not convinced.

“Yes,” Ed hissed. “I have become _The Riddler_.”

 _“And how, exactly, does that help you?”_ Oswald asked bluntly. _“I’m still dead. You still killed your best friend.”_

“But I don’t _need_ you anymore. That’s what matters,” Ed argued.

 _“Oh, **Ed** ,” _Oswald shook his head in exaggerated disappointment. _“You still don’t get what I meant, do you?”_

“Shut up!” Ed snapped, frustration boiling over. “And leave me alone. I have business to attend to.”

 _“Whatever you say,”_ Oswald mocked. _“I’ll be waiting.”_

Huffing to himself, Ed finally located the car he had been searching for and pulled out his lock-pick.

Foxy was going to get a nasty surprise when he saw him.

?¿?¿?

 _“Where are we going?”_ Oswald asked, crossing his arms petulantly. Edward ignored him, keeping his eyes trained on the road despite the itch he felt to glance at the spectre beside him.

The first touch of dawn was glowing on the horizon. Soon, the city would awaken. People would get into their cars, go to work, live their ordinary, boring lives. But things won’t be the same, not now that there was a new threat in Gotham.

The Riddler would _rise_.

Oswald snorted in the seat next to him, and Ed forgot himself and glanced at him before he could quash the impulse.

“What?” He growled.

 _“Oh, nothing,”_ Oswald replied innocently, meeting Ed’s gaze with wide eyes. _“Just enjoying the scenery.”_

Ed’s hands tightened their grip on the wheel.

“If you’ve got something to say, then just say it,” He commanded, fed up by this game. Oswald still shouldn’t be here, Ed hadn’t taken a pill in over sixteen hours. It wasn’t fair.

 _“Believe me, this can wait,”_ Oswald smirked knowingly, seeming to delight in Ed’s annoyance.

Silence permeated the car as Ed tried desperately to concentrate on the road and not the iridescent figure glowing wet beside him.

“You shouldn’t even be here,” he finally whispered, quietly resisting the urge to rest his head on the steering wheel and drive them blindly down a one-way street.

 _“And yet...”_ Oswald trailed off smugly.

“You’re **dead!** ” Ed shouted, the pain of it crashing into his chest as the cry was ripped from his throat. Oswald remained silent. “I _killed_ you. I admit that it hurts, that it killed a part of me, okay! What more do you _want_?”

Oswald didn’t speak for a very long time. Edward almost thought he’d disappeared again, but one quick glance confirmed that, no, he was still there.

 _“Do you remember the day I picked you up from Arkham?”_ Oswald eventually asked.

“Do I… What does _that_ have to do with anything?” Ed spluttered.

 _“Do you remember?”_ Oswald repeated. Ed sighed.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course, I do,” He answered resignedly.

 _“Do you remember what it felt like when you saw me?”_ Oswald prompted.

Like waking up from a long dream to warmth and sunshine. Like the end of a dark storm when a rainbow starts to peak through the clouds.

Like he could breathe again.

 _“Exactly,”_ Oswald murmured. The harbour was in sight now, they were almost there. It wouldn’t be long until he’d have to say goodbye, they were running out of time.

“Just… tell me what you want to say, Oswald. I think I’m ready to listen,” Edward told him quietly.

 _“I think you already know,”_ Oswald said softly, and Ed could feel his gaze like a tangible thing on his face.

“Say it anyway,” Edward swallowed thickly. “Please.”

There was a carpark to his right and he pulled into it quickly. He left the engine running, needing the heater to ward of the icy chill of the early morning docks for just a few minutes longer.

 _“Ed…”_ Oswald began. _“Why did you kill me?”_

“Because you betrayed me,” Edward replied instantly.

 _“Really? That's why?”_ Oswald persisted.

“Of course,” Ed confirmed. “Why?”

_“Because, last time I asked, you told me it was because of Isabella.”_

“...Oh,” Ed breathed, a cold dread piercing his heart.

 _“In fact, you haven't been thinking about her for a very long time,”_ Oswald continued. His voice was gentle, almost placating as Ed turned his head to regard him. _“And yet… I've been on your mind since the moment you realized what I'd done. And now, even after I'm dead and gone at the bottom of the river, you're still thinking about me. “_

“I-I… I don't-” Ed tried.

 _“Don't deny it, Edward.”_ Oswald shook his head sadly. _“Not now, not when you’re about to-”_

“Okay. Okay, Oswald,” Ed murmured in acceptance.

They stayed in the car, Ed looking out the windshield, wondering why he didn't just open his door and get on with it already.

 _“You know, if you'd just admitted the truth sooner, I might still be alive,”_ Oswald mused.

“If you'd just told me the truth at the start, none of this would have happened at all,” Ed countered, glaring out the window at the rising sun.

 _“True,”_ Oswald chuckled humorlessly, eyes cast down to his soaked through trousers. _“I suppose it's time?”_

“Yes, I think so.” Ed nodded slowly.

 _“Alright,”_ Oswald smiled bitterly. _“Once more unto the breach, my friend.”_

“Yes,” Ed mused. “Once more.”

He swung open the car door, slamming it closed behind him. He didn't turn to check if Oswald had followed. He already knew he had.

Together, they walked to the end of the pier, Oswald's distinctive _drag and drip, drag and drip_ following Ed every step of the way.

“Always loved the view from here,” Ed announced, watching large groups of seagulls burst into the air. It was merely a lonely pier in a dark, broiling city, but something about it felt like world's end to Edward as he cast his gaze over the black, churning water.

 _“Not really a fan,”_ Oswald said, smiling sarcastically. _“You understand why.”_

Ed licked his lips, nodding slightly. Now that they were finally here, he suddenly didn’t want to give it up. He wanted to hang onto Oswald’s illusion while it was still possible, to clutch him to his chest until he could swallow him whole. But this all had to end if Ed wanted to move on. And he did want to move on, he was sure of it. He couldn’t keep Oswald around forever, not after the fact that Ed himself was the reason he was gone.

No, now was the time for final words, squeezing out the rest of the sentiment remaining in his body until, at last, he was dry.

“I want you to know that our friendship meant something to me.” Ed turned to Oswald, his mouth curling upwards sadly as he regarded his lost mentor, his friend. “I cared about you,” he continued, guileless. Now was the time for truths, no matter how badly they curdled within his stomach. “...and I miss you.”

 _“Gee, almost makes up for being dead.”_ Oswald gushed, batting his eyelashes falsely. Edward wanted to scream at him because this was real, goddamnit, they were losing each other once and for all. But he let Oswald snarl at him sarcastically because it was better than he deserved. 

_“You do know the entire GCPD is hunting you.”_ Oswald reminded pointedly. Not exactly what Ed was looking for but it wasn’t sarcasm so he’d take it.

“Yes.” Ed smiled triumphantly. He had done well, made the GCPD look like complete half-wits with only a few riddles and some non-lethal gas.

 _“Well, not to burst your bubble but,”_ Oswald began, doing that thing when he licks his lips and looks at Ed with this overindulgence as if to say ‘I love you, but you’re an idiot’. _“Wanted or not, no one is going to be afraid of ‘ **the riddler’**.”_

Ed smiled. There was something resoundingly satisfying in hearing his new name spoken from Oswald’s lips. Even if said lips were dead and slick with water.

“Maybe not yet. But they will be.” Ed replied, sure with every fibre of his being that it was true.

It was time. Ed didn't know if he could bring himself to follow through, but he hadn't come all this way for nothing.

Not allowing himself to look back, Ed stepped to the very edge of the Pier, kneeling and leaning forward. 

It would be so easy to just continue forward, to roll into the water and let the writhing river pull him down into its grasp. With every mouthful of the dirty liquid he'd swallow, he'd be swallowed in return until, finally, he'd succumb two the ever calling abyss and join his friend in the black.

Ed shivered, dismissing the dark, alluring thoughts as he reached into his jacket pocket. Securing a tight hold on the pillbox, he pulled it out and opened it. Gritting his teeth in a desperate attempt to strengthen his resolve, Edward robotically tipped the box over, emptying it of its contents. He watched in an almost detached fascination as the pills slowly sunk into the dark, obscuring water.

It was such a fitting send-off, Ed felt something fiery curl in his chest, a holy light shining within him. He placed the box back into his pocket resolutely. He never did kick the habit of retaining keepsakes.

He stood back up, looking over the beautiful world's end view once more. Turning, he saw that Oswald had finally left. So he smiled, because this was what he had wanted, and he couldn't change his mind now.

“Goodbye, Oswald.” He felt the words hang palpably in the air for a moment before they were whisked away by the dock's chilly, early morning gale.

Placing his hat on his head, Edward turned and left, long, quick strides carrying him away as has resisted the ever calling urge to turn back.

?¿?¿?

Edward couldn't return to the mansion, knowing it to surely be a crime scene investigation by now.

So he drove around, struggling to gather the threads of his scattered thoughts as he searched for a place to hideout.

In his absent-mindedness, he found himself driving down the familiar street of his old apartment building.

Curiosity piqued, Ed slid the car into one of the available car parks. Gathering his one and only bag into his arms, Ed quickly locked the car and headed to the building's door.

Shifting the bag into one arm, he keyed in the code automatically, his fingers guided by muscle memory.

The stairs were a small price to pay for the rewarding comfort surely awaiting him at the end. 

Finding himself on a familiar landing, Edward went for his hidden lock picks before thinking better of it and just trying the door. Ed smiled as it slid open easily.

It wasn't the same as before. Ed hadn't really expected it to be (although he'd hoped). But some things had ultimately remained the same; the ever-rotating green neon sign shining through the apartment’s windows to illuminate it in the captivating colour. His dark washed kitchen with the window-fridge and crappy stove. Even his old bed frame was still there, although the bed itself was made with an entirely different duvet and set of sheets.

Edward laid back on the bed, staring at his old, cracked ceiling. It felt almost surreal to be back there again, laying in the spot he'd laid in countless times before.

He was broken from his thoughts by heavy, pounding footsteps and a string of muttered curses. Sitting up instantly, Ed searched desperately around for a weapon before remembering he still had the gun he'd used on Foxy in his bag. His hand delved inside, snatching the pistol up and withdrawing just as the door slid open.

A harried-looking man with a business suit and briefcase came bustling in, not even glancing at Ed or his gun as he headed straight for the kitchen. He opened up the fridge, selecting something before slamming the door closed again. He turned around, eyes trained on his watch until, at last, he looked up and seemed to register the gun pointed at his head.

“Oh my fucking god!” The man gasped, raising his hands and dropping both briefcase and what appeared to be a roast turkey sandwich on the floor.

“Eloquent.” Edward sneered, cocking the pistol.

“P-please, don't shoot me!” The man begged. “I'm a professor at GCU. I only came back because I left some of my notes and… and a couple other things.” The man glanced down at his ruined sandwich sadly.

Ed contemplated the likelihood of being caught after firing a gun without a silencer. He didn't like the odds.

“I'm not going to shoot you, professor,” Ed simpered condescendingly. He walked over to the man, casually leaning against the kitchen counter, arm discretely reaching, searching.

“Tell me, professor,” Ed began, unable to contain his smile as his fingertips brushed cool steel. Bingo! “What is it that you teach?”

“Oh, I'm a geologist!” The man explained excitedly. “Today I was going to speak on the mineral compositions of-” The man's rambling abruptly cut off as Ed slid the kitchen knife in his hand into the man's chest.

“Sorry,” Edward said, not meaning the apology one bit. “Just had to make sure I wasn't depriving the world of the next Pythagoras, or Albert Einstein.”

The man's expression twisted from somewhere between shock and outrage. But then he slumped to the floor with a pained groan and Ed honestly couldn't care anymore.

Ironically enough, it had been his first kill as The Riddler. Not quite as spectacular as he'd hoped for, but it was rather fitting for him to kill a man with a kitchen knife, seeing as that was how he'd begun in the first place.

He went through the motions of cleaning himself up, wrapping the professor in an already stingy looking blanket before deciding to shove him in the closet he'd kept Mr Leonard in once upon a time.

The memory flooded Edward in an unexpected heat as he remembered the inexplicable arousal that had consumed him while watching Oswald's quick, pale hands wreak havoc on Mr Leonard's squirming flesh.

Trying his best to push the memories from his mind, Ed determinedly grabbed the cleaning supplies, going about removing the blood from the hardwood floor before it began to dry.

That done, Ed decided it was about time he had a shower, and headed into the bathroom, stripping without shame as he went. The water pressure wasn't nearly as good as what he'd had in the mansion, but there was something comforting and homely about it nonetheless.

He loathed having to redress in the same crumpled clothes as before but he resigned himself to the task, seeing no other alternative. It wasn’t like he could've squeezed into the professor's clothes, the man was much too small.

Resolving to pick up some extra suits the next day, Edward cast about for something to do. Unhappy with the state the professor had left the apartment in, he began to clean, straightening edges, dusting books, wiping the counter. The methodical, time-consuming work that thankfully required no brain power at all, Ed’s mind having a chance to rest after the hectic overworking it’d had of late.

Before he knew it, it was half past four in the afternoon and Ed realised he hadn’t eaten anything all day. Grabbing the landline from its stand, he quickly made a call to the Thai food restaurant two blocks over, lowering his voice to a gravelling timbre in an attempt to disguise himself should he be recognised.

Less than twenty minutes later, a knock sounded at the door and Ed eagerly rose to answer it.

“Hey,” The delivery boy greeted bored, snapping his gum as he gestured to the bag in his hand. “One order of Satay chicken with a side of spring rolls?”

“Yup,” Ed confirmed, snatching the bag from the kid’s grasp.

“Cool,” The boy droned, rolling his eyes. “That’ll be twelve dollars.”

“Oh,” Ed flushed as he realised he literally didn’t have a penny on him.

“Plus tip,” The boy supplied, cracking his neck as he waited.

“Uhh…” Ed turned, looking around the apartment, hoping that a wad of cash would just suddenly appear in front of him. When nothing happened, Ed turned back to the kid with a sigh. “I’m sorry about this.”

“Sorry about what?” The kid asked, watching as Ed slowly made his way into the kitchen, setting the bag down on the counter.

“How old are you?” Ed asked, discreetly grabbing a kitchen knife, hitching it up his sleeve.

“Tw-twenty one,” the boy answered with a gulp. Ed sighed, coming back to stand in front of him again.

“Well, I suppose, if you’re old enough to drink, you’re old enough to die.” Before the boy could react, Ed slit his throat cleanly, the kid dying instantaneously. Ed smiled at his work, pleased at the efficiency. He’d managed not to hit the artery, so he didn’t have to deal with the poor kid’s blood spurting out everywhere like a geyser.

It was important to enjoy the little things in life.

He went about fetching the cleaning supplies again, wiping down the floor and door frame as well as anything else that had been dirtied during that particular excursion. Satisfied, he dragged the body across the floor to join the Professor's in the cupboard.

Finally, he was able to eat in peace. Unpackaging his chicken and spring rolls, Ed set himself in front of the television, flicking through the channels aimlessly as he ate. The food was just as good as Ed remembered, and he hoped the restaurant owners wouldn’t work out where their delivery boy disappeared to because he rather hoped to order from there again.

Brushing his hands off, Ed sighed happily, getting to his feet to wash and stack his meagre dishes and throw away the rubbish. Tired beyond words, it occurred to Edward that he hadn’t slept in days and, without the aid of his pills, could actually do with a nap.

Only making the effort to remove his shoes, Ed flopped onto the bed, pulling the covers over himself hastily as he snuggled in. Closing his eyes, Ed allowed the rhythmic sounds of early nightfall to slowly carry him off to sleep.

?¿?¿?

_Thunder. Rain. Ice seeping through his skin, freezing his heart._

_Words. Meaningful and meaningless at the same time. Like a slap in his face. Yes, a slap. Ed slapped the speaker, in turn._

_“You need me.” A lie or a truth? Ed didn't know anymore._

_Betrayal. Again and again, the word flashed through his mind, both a whisper and a lightning strike in equal measure._

_A hand tightened. A click, a bang. Blood. Red, so dark it could've been black._

_Death._

_“I love you.”_

_Death._

_“I need you.”_

_Death._

_“Say something?”_

_Death._

_The man he once knew, gone forever._

?¿?¿?

Ed startled awake, breathing heavily. He blinked, wondering when the room had gotten so dark. He shivered at the memory of his dream, squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to push away its images.

“It's just a dream,” Ed whispered to himself. “Just a dream.”

 _“I don't know.”_ An all too familiar voice startled him, a gasp wracking his chest as he came eye to eye with Oswald's dripping spectre. _“Is it really a dream when it actually happened?”_

“No,” Ed whispered. “No, no, no, no, no-”

 _“See, you get it.”_ Oswald chuckled darkly.

“No. No, I- I banished you for good!” Ed exclaimed, curling up against the headboard.

 _“Did you, Ed?”_ Oswald asked tilting his head with mocking curiosity. _“Because, from where I was standing, it just looked like you were throwing away a bunch of pills.”_

“This- this _cannot_ be happening.” Ed insisted, shaking his head emphatically.

 _“Well, it **is** ,”_ Oswald sighed, picking at a bit of seaweed plastered to his leg.

“What..? How did you..? Why..?” Ed trailed off, unable to settle on a choice of words.

 _“I think the question you're really looking for is ‘Why are you here?’”_ Oswald told him, rolling his eyes. Ed just stared. _“Go on. Say it.”_

Ed swallowed thickly. “Wha… Why are you here?”

 _“Because you **want** me here, Ed,”_ Oswald told him.

“No, I don't,” Edward informed him, hating the catch in his voice. “I- I'm The Riddler, now. I don't need you anymore.”

 _“Oh, **Ed,** ” _Oswald sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes. _“First of all; needing and wanting? Completely different.”_ Ed opened his mouth to protest, indignation burning within him, but Oswald cut him off. _“ **Secondly** , just because you buy a new outfit and go around calling yourself that ridiculous name, doesn't mean you don't need me. And **thirdly** ,” _Oswald blinked up through his eyelashes coquettishly, _“Try telling me you don't want me now.”_

Edward gasped as, instantaneously, all of Oswald's clothes disappeared, revealing wet, slick, pale skin, ethereal in the moonlight. Looking down, it was also clear that Oswald was most definitely, _painfully_ hard.

“What? What the _hell_ are you-” Ed began struggling to breathe properly, or to look _anywhere else_.

 _“What does it look like, genius?”_ Oswald rolled his eyes.

“You... You...”

 _“Wow, Ed, sad to see your vocabulary has decreased since I was last with you,”_ Oswald quipped, beginning to crawl across the bed on all fours. His skin shimmered, the water appearing like glitter on Oswald’s skin, and Ed shivered with it. He was getting closer and closer.

“Stop!” Ed demanded. “You can’t do this, I- I don’t want you to… to…”

 _“Want me to what?”_ Oswald asked, raising his eyebrows. When Ed didn’t answer, he sighed, pulling back to sit on his haunches. It appeared as though his hallucination, while still obtaining Oswald’s customary limp, wasn’t nearly as affected by his leg’s troubles as the original was. Had been. Whatever.

 _“I’ve got to say, Eddie, this is rather disappointing,”_ Oswald told him, mock-pouting.

“Yes, well, that’s _your_ problem,” Ed sneered. “I… I do not **consent**.”

 _“Fine.”_ Oswald sighed dramatically, eyes looking up to the ceiling as if in prayer. To Ed’s astonishment, the figure began to spread his dripping legs, inner thighs displaying themselves as well as… other things. Biting tantalizingly into his bottom lip, Oswald trailed his fingers up and down, starting from his knees, dipping inside his inner-thighs, _just_ brushing his cock before smoothing over his hip bones, fingernails dragging across his torso and up to his chest.

 _“Oh,”_ Oswald breathed, pinching and circling a nipple with his fingers. Ed swallowed.

“Wha- what are you doing?” He demanded, his head seeming to spin, the edges of the room glowing, blurry.

 _“Again, what does it look like?”_ Oswald asked, his voice going high at the end on a whine as his fingers twisted.

“You- you _can’t_ ,” Ed insisted, shaking his head firmly.

 _“Why not?”_ Oswald asked, tilting his head with mock-curiosity. _“I’m not touching you. I’m not doing anything to you really.”_

“This… This is indecent exposure!” Ed countered, trying to ignore the way his voice squawked. “That’s- I’m pretty sure, that’s illegal.”

 _“Come now, Edward, you know as well as I that this hardly qualifies as a public place,”_ Oswald reasoned before _**pushing his fingers into his mouth, holy crud.**_

“That’s neither here nor- just, just _stop it_ , okay?” Edward pleaded. Oswald slowly drew his fingers out of his mouth, lips making a soft popping noise as he did so. Ed couldn’t help but watch as Oswald reached down, a sharp exhalation escaping him as he saw Oswald wrap said hand around himself.

 _“Tell you what,”_ Oswald began. _“If you can look me in the eye and tell me truthfully that you don’t want this, then I’ll stop.”_

“What? No, that- that’s not _fair_!” Ed cried indignantly.

 _“Well it sounds fair to me. And I don’t think you’re in any position to be making rules.”_ Ed stared at him, long and hard.

“...Fine.” Ed took a deep breath before levelling Oswald with his gaze. “I…. I. Don’t. Want-”

Ed was cut off by Oswald’s loud moan as his fingers not clutching his cock moved suddenly and inserted themselves _inside him_. Ed’s mouth dropped open, eyes widening unconsciously as he watched Oswald’s fingers piston in and out, in and out. Oswald paused suddenly, looking up at him.

_“Sorry, you were saying something.”_

“Fuck you,” Ed growled, sitting up further to slide himself out from beneath the covers.

 _“ Actually, that’s what I was hoping **you** would do.”_ Oswald smirked, spreading his legs further and tipping back to lie on the mattress as Ed crawled between his thighs. _“I **knew** you wanted me. I **knew** you wanted this.”_

“Shut up!” Ed commanded, kissing the slick water drops of Oswald’s thighs. It didn’t taste like dirty river water, more like sweet aloe vera juice, desaturated. Oswald’s hand tangled in Ed’s hair, tugging lightly as he continued to kiss further up Oswald’s thighs.

He nuzzled Oswald's erection curiously, lapping at the head and delighting in Oswald's mewl.

 _“You couldn't just admit the truth, couldn't just say you wanted me. Always acting like I didn't matter to you. But look at us now.”_ Oswald laughed, the sound too loud and sharp for Ed's ears. 

Everything felt a little too real for Ed, he wasn't used to his hallucinations touching him, let alone doing… this. 

_“Ssh, Edward, it's all going to be okay,”_ Oswald soothed, stroking Ed's cheek. Edward nodded uncertainly, pulling off to look up at Oswald in silent askance.

 _“It's okay, everything's okay. Just lay back down and I'll make you feel good,”_ Oswald assured him.

Ed swallowed thickly, nodding once more before lying back and closing his eyes. He was soon covered by Oswald's heated, still-dripping skin, a gasp escaping him as they slid against one another, cocks brushing sweetly, making Edward moan.

 _“Yes, Ed, make those pretty noises for me,”_ Oswald encouraged, nose dragging against Ed's jaw, making him _whine_. _“Yes, so good, such a good boy.”_

A cry tore out of Ed's throat, his head throwing back as he felt Oswald's incisors scrape against his skin.

 _“Do you believe me, Ed,”_ Oswald inquired. _“Do you believe you're a good boy?”_ He punctuated the question with a roll of his hips.

“N-no,” Ed admitted, sudden tears leaking from his eyes.

 _“Good,”_ Oswald growled, his breath pulling away from Ed's skin. Ed opened his eyes, blinking up at Oswald's sparkling figure in confusion. _“I was lying.”_

Suddenly, Oswald's fingers were around Ed's throat, pressing, squeezing, clenching, leaving Ed struggling to breathe. He was still managing it, though, and Edward couldn't quite grasp why.

 _ **“Looks like he’s gone batshit crazy.”**_ Edward startled at the new voice, not recognising it at all.

 _“You shouldn't have killed me, Edward,”_ Oswald was growling, fingers grasping harder around Ed's neck. Ed wanted to scream at him, tell him he regretted it, tell him it wasn't his fault, that Oswald had forced his hand. Not a sound escaped his throat, however, and he was left scrambling to push Oswald's glistening skin away from him. But Oswald still wouldn’t let up, and Ed’s vision was going white around the edges.

 _ **“Do you think we should wake him up? He looks kinda in pain?”**_ Another voice he didn’t recognise. What was happening?

Ed’s lungs were still expanding, the air still coming in and out, but _why?_ How could any of this be possible?

_**“No, he will be easier to transport this way.”** _

Oswald was smiling down at him, that look in his eyes the same as the one he’d seen when they’d been torturing Mr Leonard. Bile rose up Ed’s throat, spilling like acid over his tongue, burning it, _melting_ it.

_**“But-”** _

_“This is what you deserve, Ed, and you know it.”_ Oswald’s pale face continued to drip, the splatters landing on Ed’s cheeks to merge with his tears.

_**“Look, Victor has a point. And I don’t think you should be making any decisions, Ivy. I don’t even know why you’re here.”** _

Edward writhed, trying desperately to get rid of the weight upon his chest. It felt like multiple hands were pinning him down, with Oswald’s cold, clammy hands at the centre of it. It was too much, _too much_. He needed to fight them off, needed to push them away-

_**“Well, that’s-”** _

Needed, to understand, needed to- to open his _eyes_ -

_**“I think he’s waking up.”** _

Ed’s eyes opened to blurry shapes and clenching holds on his arms, legs and chest, pinning him down. He thrashed and jerked away from them, his throat burning as he screamed. Where the hell had Oswald gone? Was he still there, hiding in the shadows, waiting to come out? Would he finally kill him? Finally dispose of Ed, once and for all?

“Get away from me! I know you’re there! Oswald, I _swear_ , if you touch me I’ll-”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, you were only dreaming,” A sweet voice, not unlike one he’d heard in his dream, quietened him, a soft hand resting on his shoulder. Ed shook it off immediately.

“A dream?” Ed laughed, hysteria wracking his bones as he bent and twisted. “Oswald! Oswald, I knew you’d come back!” He laughed and laughed. “Never could resist me when I wanted you! Well, I hate you! You hear me? And you can’t touch me!”

“Yep. Definitely insane.” Another voice chimed in. 

“I will kill you! I swear, I’ll wipe you from my mind until it’s like you never existed!” Ed spat.

“What should we do?”

“Where are you? I know you’re there, I can _feel_ it.”

“Knock him out.”

“I swear, I’ll destroy everything you were, everything you loved!”

“What? Do we _have_ to.”

“I’ll do it.”

And everything went black.

_It was you_  
_The pill I keep taking,_  
_The nightmare I wake in._  
_There's nothing,_  
_No nothing,_  
_Nothing but you_  
_My perfect rock bottom_  
_My beautiful trauma_  
_My love, my love,_  
_My drug,_  
_We're fucked up._

**Author's Note:**

> Was that a cliffhanger? Huh, I think it was.
> 
> Anywho, I hope you liked it :)
> 
> All kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and admired with love.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
